It’s interesting to watch what happens when someone has a few too many cocktails.  My college roommate, for example, would become the life of the party; it always amazed me to watch her transformation from a fairly conservative Southern girl into the person most likely to dance on top of the bar.  An acquaintance of mine would start out as a happy drunk but, you could bet money on it, before the night was over she would be sobbing in her Singapore Sling.

And then there are those of us who get mean – say nasty things, take offense at the slightest provocation (or with none), maybe even throw a punch of two.  Some angry drunks are angry all the time while some people who are mean under the influence are nice as can be when they’re sober.   Some drinkers get mean regularly, while, for others, it happens occasionally.

Tanking Up and Letting Loose:  Who Does It?

Alcohol does not usually lead to violence and most people don’t go on a rampage when they’re intoxicated.  So who is likely to be a mean drunk?   Does alcohol cause a personality transformation – turning Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde – or does it simply allow us to do or say things we secretly want to anyway?

A new study suggests that, for some individuals, the latter explanation fits.  A new study published in the journal Addiction found that, among three thousand young adults in Norway, only those who said they tended to suppress their anger were more likely to become violent when drunk. These individuals were usually peacekeepers in their daily lives, avoiding confrontations and locking their frustrations inside.  Once they got a little liquid courage, though, all hell broke loose.  For these individuals, the adage “a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts” rings true.

So, individuals who have a lot of stored up anger are more likely to express it when they’re inhibitions are down.  I would also bet that when we get drunk around or with someone we’re already in conflict with (or mad at), we’re more at risk for anger outbursts.  In other words, Sally may be a fun drunk when she’s with her sorority sisters but when she and her just-found-out-he’s-cheating-but-I-still-love-him boyfriend get together, she’s much more likely to have a few beers and let all her anger hang out.

The Bottom Line

Drinking doesn’t cause violence but it sure can make it harder to control, especially if we have a hard time expressing our anger or standing up for ourselves when we’re sober.  Using alcohol to give us the courage to “tell it like it is” is a losing strategy; the object of our anger can easily dismiss what we say as “just the booze talking” and, even if our words have the ring of truth, the way they’re spoken silences them.

One of my graduate school professors used to march around the room, asking us, “What’s the best predictor of future behavior?”  And we, in chorus, knew to answer “Past behavior.”  So, for example, if someone comes into a therapist’s office complaining of suicidal thoughts, you can bet the psychologist is going to be very interested in whether or not the client has ever considered suicide before and, even more importantly, whether or not those thoughts have ever led to action.

Depression + Poor Impulse Control = Danger

A recent study now suggests that a history of suicide attempts in teen boys may predict much more than future suicidal potential.  According to this study published in Psychological Medicine, young men who attempt suicide before age 18 are twice as likely to batter their partners as young adults.

The key predictor seems to be whether or not the teen boy actually attempted suicide, not whether he was depressed or considered taking his life.  They also controlled for other risk factors, such as substance abuse and a family history of domestic violence.  The fascinating thing about this study is that it was focused on long term assessment of suicide intervention with teen boys and the finding was a surprising byproduct.

So What?

The most exciting part of this study is that it suggests an avenue for domestic violence prevention for a group not previously identified as at-risk.  In other words, if we can recognize the underlying vulnerability suicide-attempting teen boys have for impulsive aggression in general, we can treat much more than the depression that started the acting-out ball rolling.  We may be able to help the teen develop coping strategies that will serve him well in a variety of circumstances.

Here’s how this might work.  Typically, psychotherapy for a teen boy who has recently attempted suicide will focus on his depression – and the life circumstances – that led up to the attempt.  Once the depression has subsided, treatment has been successfully completed.

In contrast, this study suggests that, after the teen’s depression is under control, the therapist could better serve his client (and potentially his future spouse or partner) by exploring other issues, such as other incidences where the teen has exhibited aggressive or impulsive behavior.  The therapist could then help the adolescent develop ways to control angry and impulsive reactions, particularly when he is under stress or at the mercy of intense peer pressure.

The Winning Trifecta:  Self-Control, Self-Awareness and Good Communication Skills

In fact, parents, teachers, therapists – all of us who deal with any teen boy – can help them grow into more effective adults by encouraging self-awareness, self-control and good communication skills.  In particular, helping our adolescent boys identify early internal signs of frustration, stress or anger, teaching them how to talk before they act and, as a last resort, how to buy precious seconds or minutes between those strong feelings and the decision to act, can help them build the social support and academic success that foster resiliency in the most depression-prone teen.

In our last post, we covered the first five of our top ten ways to stay motivated when you’re depressed.  Let’s round out the rest.

Challenge #6: Everything just feels overwhelming.”  Try:  Changing your self-talk and lowering your standards.

• Feeling overwhelmed is often a sign that we’re either lumping a bunch of things together in our mind (I’m never going to get all this done; I’ve got to clean the house, go to the dry cleaners, get the presentation ready for tomorrow, take Josephine to soccer, etc.) or that the one project you’re focusing on is too big (I’m never going to get that book finished – they want it to be 300 pages!)
• Break large projects into smaller steps and concentrate on one step or task at a time.
• Don’t get caught up in perfectionism; ask yourself what is good enough and stick to it.

Challenge #7. “I just can’t stand to be around other people.” Try:  Being selective about who you hang with and choosing your activities wisely.

• Depression feeds on isolation but it’s hard to mix and mingle when you’re filled with melancholy.
• Stay away from energy vampires, who are toxic in the best of circumstances and deadly when we’re despondent.
• Call or email a friend who lives far away, do something social that doesn’t involve a lot of talking (go to a movie or play together, for example), or help someone else by volunteering.

Challenge #8: “I don’t feel like doing anything.” Try:  Doing it anyway.

• I’ve got good news for you, my friend.  You don’t have feel like doing it to get things done. It’s a well-kept secret that, just as feeling good helps us do things that are good for us, doing things that are good for us helps us feel better.

1. “Nothing sounds fun anymore.” Try:  Doing something you used to enjoy.

• It’s really important to add pleasure to our lives when we’re depressed.
• Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like.
• Express yourself creatively through music, art, or writing.
• Take a day trip to a museum, the mountains, or the ballpark.
• Also, once you finished some task, reward yourself. Give yourself a prize. It doesn’t have to be a big one; just enough to create the habit. In time you’ll become addicted to this fulfillment satisfaction and you won’t stop until you reach it.

1. “I just can’t concentrate.” Try:  Eliminating distractions.

• Have several small projects that you can switch whenever your concentration lags.
• Take frequent breaks; set a timer if you need to so you’ll know a break is coming.
• Use headphones or earplugs to block out noise. Leave instant messages and Emails on a different desktop than you’re working on so you won’t be tempted to check them every two seconds.
• Only answer phone calls twice a day.

Challenge #10. “I’ve tried everything and nothing works.” Try:  Getting professional help.”

1. Sometimes the best “self-help” is picking up the phone and making an appointment with a mental health professional.  We all need a little help now and then, and continuing to struggle – and failing – only makes treatment that much harder.
2. Set a deadline.  If you’re implementing these strategies, and your depression is still getting worse after two weeks, it’s time.

The Bottom Line

Start small, stay focused, and create (and build on) easy successes.  Use whatever resources you have and seek out others.  And remember; doing something is better than nothing.  You’ve felt good before and you will again.  In the meantime, depression may slow you down, but it doesn’t have to bring your life to a stop.

Ten Ways to Stay Motivated When You’re Depressed (Part 1)

Everything is harder when we’re depressed.  It’s hard to get out of bed.  It’s hard to go to work or take care of the kids.  A 2009 study suggests that it’s even hard to do the things that typically give us pleasure.  Which, of course, is even more depressing.

There’s a difference, however, between difficult and impossible.  Here are some of the thoughts and feelings that so often accompany depression – and some ideas on how to rally enough to get things done in spite of them:

Challenge #1. “I just can’t get out of this dark cloud.” Try:  Manipulating your environment.

• Before you get out of bed, read an inspirational story or poem.
• Put uplifting or inspirational music on the stereo while you’re getting dressed.
• Relax at the end of each day with a funny movie, a review of the comics or something else similarly light.
• Make the last thing you read each night a story about a person who suffered from depression and went on to do great things (Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, etc.)

Challenge #2:  “No one understands how I feel.” Try:  Finding people who do.

• I hope you have a loving support system who works hard to understand what you’re going through and is there to listen when you need them.  However, even if you’re family is still stuck in the “just snap out of it” myth, you can find plenty of people who know exactly how you feel – because they’ve felt the same way.  They’re everywhere – online, in support groups; you probably have one or two sitting in the cubicles next to you.  Your job is to find them.

Challenge #3: “I just can’t motivate myself.” Try:  Using resources that can help you.

• Luckily, there are people available at every turn to provide tips, strategies and advice about how to function when you’re.  Check out David Burn’s bestselling book, Feeling Good:  The New Mood Therapy.  He outlines a very practical plan for people so depressed that the smallest activities — from taking a shower to eating lunch — seem beyond their grasp.
• Additionally, some of the best advice comes from people who’ve “been there, done that;” find an online support partner and do a day-by-day chat to keep each other accountable for getting your goals accomplished.

Challenge #4. “I don’t have the energy to exercise.” Try: Starting small and building on it.

• A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for two hours and I know you can move for ten minutes.
• Take baby steps; take the stairs rather than the elevator at work or park your car in the farthest spot in the parking lot.
• If you’re more of the “I can do it for somebody else but not for myself” thinker, take your dog for a walk, volunteer at a local animal shelter, or offer to help a friend who’s having trouble sticking to an exercise regimen.

Challenge #5. “Everything just feels overwhelming.”  Try:  Changing your self-talk and lowering your standards.

• Feeling overwhelmed is often a sign that we’re either lumping a bunch of things together in our mind (I’m never going to get all this done; I’ve got to clean the house, go to the dry cleaners, get the presentation ready for tomorrow, take Josephine to soccer, etc.) or that the one project you’re focusing on is too big (I’m never going to get that book finished – they want it to be 300 pages!)
• Break large projects into smaller steps and concentrate on one step or task at a time.
• Don’t get caught up in perfectionism; ask yourself what is good enough and stick to it.

Need more ideas?  Come back tomorrow for the rest of  top ten.

At 12:11 a.m. on January 1, 1995, I welcomed my first-born into the world after 22 hours of labor and a C-section.  On January 3, I experienced my first panic attack. Just home from the hospital, I had fallen asleep, only to be awakened out of a dead slumber a few hours later, gasping for breath and heart racing.

I had no idea what was happening.  All I remember is jumping out of bed, stumbling down the stairs and throwing the door open.  The cold January air seemed to snap me back to reality and help me regain control of my breathing.  I spent the next few hours terrified of going back to sleep, afraid of the dark, and wondering if I was experiencing some weird reaction to my anesthesia or if I was losing my mind.  Over the next six weeks, as the panic attacks and anxiety escalated, I began to believe the latter.

This Ain’t the Blues, Baby

There’s an irony here.  With a family history of depression, I was not unaware of the risk of postpartum mood complications.  In fact, I had read up on postpartum depression and was well-armed to deal with any baby blues that might linger longer than usual.  But postpartum panic?    I, a clinical psychologist who had been in practice for over ten years, had never heard of it.

Apparently, the psychological landscape hasn’t changed that much; just a year ago, I spoke to a well-known psychiatrist who glibly assured me that there’s no such thing as postpartum panic disorder. In reality, postpartum anxiety and/or panic disorder affects between 4% and 10% of women in the postpartum period, most often within the first few days after birth although they can come on more gradually during the first year post partum.

What Causes Postpartum Panic Attacks?

We don’t know for sure.  Almost all new parents are highly sensitive to, and reactive toward, what goes on around them; for example, parents in the few months after delivery typically have four to five times their normal sensitivity to sound.  In some women, this sensitivity may go one step further, triggering an adrenaline response that causes bursts of panic.  This is most likely in women who already have a personal or family history of anxiety and/or panic disorder.  Throw a difficult pregnancy in, or birth complications, and you up the odds even further.

What It Looks Like

Postpartum panic disorder looks and feels like plain old panic disorder with a few exceptions.  One, anxiety may be focused on maternal issues (being a “bad” mother, worry the baby will get sick or die) rather than general concerns.  Also, the sleep deprivation that inevitably accompanies a new baby can be a huge factor in exacerbating postpartum panic attacks.

If you’re a new mom experiencing postpartum panic, this is what it feels like:

“I went through where I couldn’t sleep at all, and I would just pace the floors.”

“I feel completely enraged at little things my husband would do.  He would do or say something so trivial and I would want to smack him in the head – literally – just to make myself feel better.”

“I felt completely terrified for no reason.  I was scared to get in the shower, terrified to be by myself, even scared to close my eyes.”

“I feel like I don’t have any control of anything. I feel like I might be going insane.”

From Postpartum Panic to a Calm Mom

Many new moms with postpartum panic can be successfully treated with medication, although, of course, breast feeding must be factored in to treatment decisions. Psychotherapy, as well as getting involved with an online or in-person postpartum support group, can be a godsend for women struggling not only to deal with the panic (and terror of another attack), but also the isolation of new motherhood, the guilt over “not being happy,”  and the fear that their emotional symptoms will somehow leak into their baby.

Mothers will do anything for their children.  Getting help for postpartum panic is one of the greatest gifts a new mom can give to her baby.  Not only will it make the parenting process easier, it can reacquaint a new mom with the strength of will that will make her a great parent.  For, as Christopher Robin said to Winnie-the-Pooh, “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

I’ve got some bad news, folks – or good news, depending on your doctor’s mood.  A 2010 study presented at the 14^th Annual Conference of the Israel National Institute for Health Policy found that the quality of care a physician provided on any given day was significantly influenced by his or her mood at the time s/he saw the patient.

We’re not just talking about a short fuse or a gruff comment, either.  A survey of 118 primary care physicians found that stressed, tired or anxious doctors were more likely to talk less to patients, prescribe more medications, send them for more diagnostic tests, and refer them to a specialist.  Not surprisingly, the more burned out the physician already was, the more vulnerable s/he was to letting his or her emotions dictate treatment decisions.

You May Not Be a Physician, but You Know Your Body

I hope your memories of childhood visits to your pediatrician evoke Santa-Claus-like images and warm-and-fuzzy feelings.  However, some of us grew up in an era where interpersonal skills weren’t a residency requirement and questioning our doctor’s opinion bordered on insubordination.  If so, it may be time to change your relationship with your doctor.

Approach your next doctor’s visit as a job interview rather than a confession to your priest.  Be prepared.  Before you get in the car to drive to your appointment, take your temperature.  Write down a short list of symptoms you would like to discuss, including details about when they started, how severe they are, and how long they last.  Bring a list of the names and dosages of any prescriptions, over-the-counter medications or supplements you are taking.  Also write down any questions you have; for example, if you’re concerned that your bronchitis has turned into pneumonia, write that down as well as the reasons for your question.

Three Magic Words:  I Don’t Understand

According to The New England Journal of Medicine, half of patients admit to not understanding what their doctor told them during an office visit.  Given the limited amount of time doctors can spend with their patients these days, and given those doctors uses terms that are second nature to them but may not always translate well to us lay folks, it is critical that we not leave that office until we know what our doctor is saying.

This means asking questions and taking notes.  What diagnosis is your doctor giving you?  Based on what criteria?  What is the treatment?  Are there alternatives?  Why is the doctor prescribing this particular medication?  What side effects should you expect?  When should you start to feel better and what should you do if you don’t?

Never worry about asking for clarification about something your doctor says. If you’re not sure you understand, repeat back what your doctor has told you and ask if you’ve got it right. (You can also ask if he or she recommends any specific reading materials about your condition).

The Bottom Line

It’s scary to think our physical health could be in the hands of a doctor in a bad mood.  Doctors, though, are just as human as the rest of us; how they feel influences how they see things and what they decide to do.  We can help them, and protect ourselves,  by shifting our role from passive patient to active partner – educating our doctor about our bodies, asking questions when we need to and, when all else fails, getting a second opinion.

There is a fascinating article in the July 2010 issue of Consumer Reports Magazine that reports the results of a 2009 questionnaire surveying 1500 respondents who had received treatment for anxiety, depression, or both.  Specifically, this enlightening questionnaire asked the respondents this very important question:   WHAT WORKED?

Viva la Talk Therapy

First of all, the anxiety and depression sufferers who went to therapy for at least 7 sessions reported more benefit that those who simply took antidepressants.  It didn’t matter if the therapist was a licensed professional counsellor, a social worker or a psychologist.  Although not reported, I suspect what did matter was a) the “fit” between the therapist and the client (how good of a relationship they developed) and b) the kind of therapy the therapist did. (Cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy tends to work better on depression and anxiety).

Hey, Drugs Work Too!

Antidepressants were also generally effective, especially when used in combination with psychotherapy.  Side effects continue to be a bummer, though, espcially with some of the newer antidepresants like Effexor and Cymbalta. Apparently, most people who take antidepressants continue to get their prescriptions from their family practitioner or internis, which makes it hard to know if the side effect problems are partly due to an inappropriate dosage.  (Just as we wouldn’t to to a psychiatrist for cancer, I don’t think a family practitioner is the best person to diagnose and/or treat depression/anxiety.)

The Bottom Line

It’s comforting to know that some people are getting help, especially in light of the January 2010 article illustrating, again, how many depressed people in the U.S. are suffering needlessly.  I hope this article will not only shed light on what treatment works best, but will help sufferers realize they’re not alone – and they can get better.

Okay, I know last week I sounded off about the perils of advice-giving.  I also know that virtually every single one of us finds it impossible not to give it – particularly when it has to do with relationships.  Maybe it’s because we’ve all had our share of broken hearts and there’s nothing that tugs at our consciences more than seeing a friend heading toward the same train wreck we’ve just survived.

So here’s what I did.  I scoured the internet, asked friends and family, and threw my own two cents in to come up with what I think is some of the best, dumbest and downright harmful relationship advice people have gotten.  Cross my heart; I didn’t make any of this up.

The Good

• Don’t make someone a priority in your life if the other person treats you as an option.  No waiting by the phone, making excuses, no making him a project to be fixed or saved.
• If a person shows you who s/he really is, believe him/her. Always believe what a person does more than what s/he says.
• No matter how long you’ve been together or how well you know each other, never stop being polite and gracious with each other.  Enough said.
• Attack the issue, not each other.  No name calling, mud-slinging, or punch throwing, no matter how mad you are.

The Bad

• No matter how bad your relationship is, stay together for the kids.  As someone who was the child of a War-of-the-Roses type marriage, I can tell you there are worse things than growing up with divorced parents.
• Love happens when you stop looking for it.  Okay, I understand the spirit behind this one, but surely we have to at least put ourselves in situations where it could.
• At a certain age, you’ve got to lower your expectations and not set the bar so high.  What we expect, and what we deserve, should have nothing to do with how old we are.
• Pretend you have an alcohol problem; you might meet some nice men at AA meetings. Great. Use deceit as your bait and then use it on someone who might need to be concentrating on things besides how hot you look in that miniskirt.

The Ugly

• Play down how smart you are . . . men are put off by intelligent women. For God’s sake, this was the kind of advice my grandmother got!
• Take him back.  They only cheat once; then they realize what they may lose.  Yeah, good luck with that advice.
• If your husband acts up, withhold sex.  He’ll come around pretty quick and do whatever you want. There’s nothing like turning a mutual act of love and pleasure into a battleground to keep those fires of love burning.
• Don’t worry about getting an education; you’ll find a man to take care of you.  Yeah, and no matter how miserable you are,  it’ll be hard to leave if you depend on him financially.

And then there’s the relationship advice that defines categories.  I initially found this in a forum (which, of course, I have since been unable to relocate) but found it too priceless to omit.

“I’ll always remember a piece of dating advice I got from an old trapper-hunter from Idaho.  We were on our third beer when we started talking about women, marriage, and dealing with the two.   He squinted his eyes as if he was about to expound a piece of time honored wisdom upon me, and spoke the following words:

’When you’re with a woman, don’t talk about killin’ shit.’

Dude, Dr. Ruth’s got nothing on you.

Most of us love giving advice.  It makes us feel important.  It gives us a chance to tell the other person what we *really* think.

As a result, when someone actually asks for our opinion, it’s easy to launch into a diatribe about what the other person should do and how they should do it. (I should know; I’ve fallen into this trap more times than I can remember.)  I also know how annoying it is when the advice seeker, in response to our taking the time and investing the energy into trying to help, either a) gets defensive and argues back, or b) completely ignores the advice we’ve given (and does the exact opposite).  Which, of course, happens all the time.

Why are You Asking Me if You Don’t Want to Know?

So why does our best friend, sister or coworker ask us for our advice if she doesn’t want it?  She does want something – to feel better.  She’s looking to you for validation, comfort, approval, or clarity.  However, it’s hard to ask for these things, and she probably doesn’t even realize what she’s asking for until she doesn’t get it (i.e., you tell her what she doesn’t want to hear) and – presto – suddenly you’re in the dog house.

In fact, nine times out of ten, people are just looking for confirmation of what they’ve already made up their minds to do.  Even if they really are sitting on the fence and trying to decide whether to climb over or get back down, the odds are they’re going to go back to worrying about what to do after you’ve finished talking.

Advice about Giving Advice

First of all, repeat after me: “I will not give unsolicited advice.  I will hold my tongue, bite the inside of my cheek and do whatever else is necessary to keep my mouth shut.”  As well-intentioned as it may be, giving unasked-for advice is as risky as Russian roulette; you never know when it’s going to blow up in your face.

But what if your best friend asks you for advice and, without your wisdom and guidance, she’s about to make the biggest mistake of her life?  Before you answer, here are three steps to get you in the right frame of mind before you open your mouth.

1.  Channel your inner Socrates.  Before you give her your opinion, ask her a series of questions.  What is she thinking?  What are her concerns?  What options is she considering?  What are the pros and cons?  When you ask someone what steps they can take to resolve their problem, it helps him or her find their own solution and come up with a plan s/he can’t argue with – because it’s their own.

2.  Base your opinion on evidence she’s provided.  You’ve called me crying five times this week after you and Joe had a fight.  You’ve told me how unhappy you were the last time you took a job that required litigation. That’s it; now zip it up and listen.

3. Let go of the outcome.  Reassure your friend that you’ll be there for her no matter what she decides.  If she makes a bad decision, let it go.  Trying to rescue her would just be offering unsolicited advice and will likely do your relationship more harm than good.

The Bottom Line

Erica Jong once said, “Advice is what we ask for when we know the answer but wish we didn’t.”  My advice?  Listen to her.

I’m a planner.  Maybe it’s because I like to do so many different things but if, I don’t have a “to-do’ list, I tend to flail from one thing to another.

I’m sure it’s also a way to cope with anxiety; my Nana always said I was a “pessimist first so I could be an optimist.”  It’s true; I tend to think through – and plan for – for every possible thing that could go wrong.  That accomplished, I could give Pollyanna a run for her money.

Motivation is the Main Course

Recent research suggests that we planners are on to something as long as we keep the big picture in mind.  In fact, a recent article in the Journal of Consumer Research found that, when we get too caught up in how we are going to get from point A to B, we may lose sight of the why. As a result, we may lock ourselves in to a certain action plan and not see – or know what to do – when other opportunities arise that would also help us reach our goals.

Let’s say you’ve decided once and for all to lose that last ten pounds before the official start of the often-dreaded bathing suit season.  You put together a plan – go the gym every day, clear your pantry of junk food, order healthy meals when you go out to lunch with your coworkers.

So what do when the gym is closed?  When your birthday-celebrating work colleague choose the last restaurant in town that refuses to offer healthy menu options?  Without a clear and constant focus on why you want to lose weight, you’re more likely to either a) succumb to temptation (what could I do?  The Buffalo wings seemed like the healthiest thing on the menu) or b) fail to consider alternatives (Yes, the gym is closed but I can still go for a walk with a friend, exercise at home, etc.)

Dessert is Important, Too

Don’t despair, fellow planners.  The plan, a.k.a., the dessert, is a very important part of our success.  We’ve just got to keep the fires of enthusiasm burning while we’re executing it.  We’ve got to constantly remind ourselves of the good things that will happen if we reach our goal, of the reasons why we made the decision to shed weight to begin with.

In fact, if we’re smart, we’ll incorporate this into our diet plan.  Perhaps we’re going keep a list of all the reasons we want to succeed in our wallet or on our computer.  Perhaps we’re going to begin each day writing a quick letter of encouragement and support to ourselves, painting a picture of how great we’ll feel once we reach our goals.  Maybe we’re going to call our best friend every day at lunch so she can remind us of why we started on our weight loss journey.

It doesn’t matter how we keep the why in mind as long as we do it.  And here’s the bonus; this strategy seems to be effective no matter what our goals are.  In fact, the initial study dealt with people who were trying to save money!